As known by many, a family is comprised of: a father, a mother and their children. This is considered as a complete or rather, ‘perfect’ family. No more, no less. What if one person is missing out on the picture? Would you still consider it as a family? Definitely yes, but this time, it is a broken family and we all know that a broken family is a sad family. Everyone wants a happy and stable family but that couldn’t be granted every single time.
I belong to a broken family because we are lacking one family member, a father. He is supposed to be the ‘man of the house’ and the ‘king of my life’ but I guess not. From the day I was born, I never knew my father, up until now. The only thing I know about him is that he is a Korean, according to both my mom and grandmother and the only proof I got are my small eyes. They also told me that my father had already left me and is now in a faraway place. But still, no one can replace the love of a father that’s why I’m curious about him. My questions are left unsaid because my questions also doesn’t want to be answered. I know I should be content with what I have right now, but he is a part of me.
‘Father’, ‘Dad’, or ‘Papa’, as we call him, is the one who works hard for the good of the family. He is the one who rules the house alongside with his queen. He treasures and protects his beloved children and most of all, he takes care of the heavy jobs, whether inside the house or outside. I bet it all sounds good, right? especially when you have a father for yourself.
That is why I feel envious and incomplete at the same time whenever I get to see a happy and complete family. It gets me wondering about the ‘what ifs’. Today, I went to the church with my grandmother. We got chairs on the second floor. There were a lot of people even though there was a hard pour of rain. The mass already started then a little girl, with a stuffed panda, sat beside me along with her dad. I can feel the love between them as the little girl leaned on her dad and shuts her eyes off. I was deeply touched and made me think of my father again. I just prayed and spoke to God about it.
Even though of what my father did, I still love him and I’m thankful because without him, I will never exist in this world. If I will get to see him one day, I will not speak of my questions but rather feel his arms wrapped around mine and feel the warm longed love that I’ve been searching for years.